Books in a Nutshell
by Fangalicous08
Summary: So, this is all of my favorite books in a nutshell. I started with the Maximum Ride series book 1 obviously and if you like it, I'll probably do more series. R&R?
1. Max Ride: The Angel Experiment

**So...I got bored. This is what came out. **

**Iggy: Yep...**

**Me: I present to you, Maximum Ride: The Angel Expirement, in a nutshell. **

* * *

**Maximum Ride book 1, in a nutshell:**

Max: Hey! We're a bunch of bird-kids being chased by mutant wolf type things we call Erasers just to confuse people and make them thing we're wimps running from the little pink things on the tops of pencils.

((Erasers take Angel))

Max: Because I am the bossy parental figure, I say we go save her even though this is obviously a trap and everything's going to blow up in my face. All opposed? No? Good. Now, you can't come because your blind and you can't because you smell funny. But, I will however allow the jabber-jaws nine year old--

Nudge: Eleven.

Max: Whatever, come and also the dashingly handsome, dark-brooding-emo boy because I have an enormous crush on him but I'm just too stubborn to admit it.

Fang: Um, you do? Max: Moving on now.

Fang: o.O

((They fly to California, various mishaps along they delay them as Angel is experimented on multiple times and Max gets shot and pigs out on delicious cookies))

Max: Now we're in a science lab saving Angel using a convenient flock of predatory birds. Oh, and I also found that the man I thought was dead for two years is actually not dead and I'm destined to save all of humanity. Weird, huh?

Fang: Quite…

Max: Alright, now we have to go to New York.

Fang: Why? Max: Because I said so.

((They fly to New York in a relatively short period of time))

Max: Now that we're here we're going to go right into the psycho scientists hands by showing up on their doorstep. Fang: Is that a good idea? Max: Of course it is. I'm the bossy parental figure, remember?

Fang: Ah, yes…

((They wander around New York, various things happen, they meet a computer geek that gripes at them because Max's weird chip thingy messes up his computer that shares the same name with a cool guy))

Voice: Hello Max.

Max: OMG!!

Fang: You okay? Max: Is it bad if you hear a voice in your head that nobody else hears?

Fang: Yes…

Max: Uh-oh.

((They randomly decide to go to a beach and Erasers attack. Ari beats the snot out of Fang))

Max: Oh no! Fang's hurt! I must reveal my love for him while he's critically injured so maybe he won't remember it even though the flock is standing right there! -kisses Fang-

Fang: Ow. WTF was that about?

Max: -blushes- Um…nothing. Fang: Riiight…

((They decide to break into a lab and find many assorted mutants that really have no apparent reason being down there and are somehow still alive even though most are only supposed to live a day if not less. Ari, the afore mentioned Eraser somehow linked to their past, shows up. Max and Ari fight. Max wins.))

Max: Darn. I think I just killed my mortal enemy because he's a big hairy wolf man(almost as hairy as Edward Cullen)with no sense of balance and/or bad traction on his boots.

Jeb: YOU JUST KILLED YOUR BROTHER!! -sobs-

Max: I did? Wait, that means--

Flock: Ew, gross.

Fang: Uh, yeah.

Max: -shudder- So, anyway, now we will go to Washington, DC to continue looking for our pasts and doing exactly what the evil scientists want us to do. (Because I'm _still _the bossy parental figure.)

Fang: -eye roll-

**~END~**

**So, if you all like this one, I might do one for SoF, StWaOES, tFW, MAX and various other books that I like. So, review if you like it. **

**Iggy: I think it captures Max's bossy side perfectly. **

**Me: Yeah...And, yes, I _was _poking fun at the series, but not because I don't like it, I _love _MR, it's just...sort of a parody. I guess. A spoof. Whatever. -shrugs- **

**Iggy: 'You cant' come because your blind'...Thanks a ton. **

**Me: Well, that's why. -shrugs- Just goin' from the book. **

**Iggy: -glares- **

**R&R?? **


	2. Max Ride: School's Out Forever

**Apparently, you people liked this. So, because I can no longer go outside to burn paper(insert sadness x3 here), I decided to update. FIRE IS FUN! **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Maximum Ride: School's Out--Forever in a nutshell: **

Max: We're still on our way to Washington, DC because the last time you checked in with us was 24 hours ago!

Gazzy: Look a UFO!

Flock: -looks over expectantly for the four billionth time-

Gazzy: -cracks up-

((Erasers attack. They now have wings. Fang makes a witty comment about ballerinas and fridge's with wings, then gets mortally wounded again by Ari, the eraser that just 'died'))

Max: OHEMGEE! Fang's mortally wounded! AGAIN!

Flock: -covers eyes-

Max: -eye roll-

((Fang is taken to a hospital. The FBI gets in involved. Good? I think not.))

FBI: So…you all have wings…? Flock: Yup.

FBI: And you…fly?

Flock: Uh-huh.

FBI: Sweet.

((The flock is shipped off to live with some random women in Virginia))Anne: This is my house. It is big. I will let you do whatever you, but you have to go to school.

Flock: NO! Nudge: I'll look like prep-school Barbie!

((The flock goes to school.))

Max: This is actually quite easy because the Voice helps me cheat in all my classes. The only bad part is when I walked in on Fang and a random red-headed girl playing tonsil hockey then I got really jealous because I'm still secretly in love with him but I still won't admit it, then he got really jealous because of this really hot guy that was possible an eraser that I went on a date with.

Fang: Uh….huh…

((Confusing things happen at the school that really have nothing to do with the story other than the fact that Ari wants to rape Max apparently even though they are related. I believe that is called something…Anyway, after that the Erasers attack again, the flock gets away. Again.))

Max Clone: Sad, sad real Max. Too bad I have to stalk you now like a creepy stalker person thing…

((Assorted plot altering things happen such as Iggy finding his parents, Thanksgiving and so and so forth that I'm just too lazy to write about.))

Voice: -for the nth time- SAVE THE WORLD MAX!! W00t!!

Max: And how would I do that? Voice: Um…go to Disney World!

Max: OKAY!

((Flock goes to Disney world, random things happen, then they go to the beach, Max tries to kill herself with a sea shell she bought from Sally down by the sea shore and Fang the Emo Prince of Darkness and Solitude comforts her. OH! And Angel can talk to fish. And if that's not bad enough, Max gets kidnapped by Max2))

Max: Oh no, now I'm stuck in an isolation tank. Whatever will I do.

Voice: Um…play dead…? Max: Okay. -pretends to die-

**~Back with the flock~ **

Max 2: I am the real Max! And I will prove it by doing a very Max-like thing…like…cook!

Fang: -whispers to flock- She's not Max.

Flock: -nod in agreement-

((And then they got to save the world with Max 2. Oh the places you go with an evil clone of a bossy parental figure.))

Max: I am now free!

Max 2: NOT SO FAST REAL MAX!

((A fight scene occurs with a random POV change in every chapter that confused me highly and I got lost a lot.))Max: Ha! I have won because I'm the original flavor of bird-girl! -grins triumphantly-

Max 2: I have no purpose in life. Other than to pretend to be Max with Ari, but other than that…

Jeb: There can't be two Maxs!

Max: You should have thought of that before.

((The flock flies off then there at…either a cave or a forest or around some big rocks. Fang and Max share a pop.))Max: How'd you know she wasn't me? Fang: She wanted to cook.

Max: Oh…-cracks up- What a bad actress.

Fang: -also laughing- Yeah.

**THE END!!**

**So...yeah...you likey? **

**Iggy: I was barely mentioned...**

**Me: I wonder why. -glares- **

**Iggy: They wanted to know! **

**Me: Not fighting with you now. **

**But, I would like to say this: Someone asked me if I was going to update RDG. Yes, I will, soon. I'm on Thanksgiving break now, but I'm going to try to work on my NaNo because I'm WAY too far behind(I probably won't finish, dang it)but if I don't update this month, I SWEAR to you I'll update in December. **

**Also, don't expect a lot of updates in the weeks leading up to Dec. 17(Yeah, not many. Actually, only two weeks before that week). Why? Well...I'll probably do a ch. of Skittles Corner of Randomness and explain. Anyway, **

**R&R?!**


	3. Max Ride: STWaOES

**And here's the last story that needs updated.**

**Books in a Nutshell, and it's long overdue update. **

**Let's jump right on in to this, shall we?

* * *

**

Max: Hi, Max again and this time we're driving around in an old 80s love machine.

Fang: And I'm driving.

Iggy: I WANNA DRIVE!

Flock: You're _BLIND!_

Iggy: So?

Max: -facepalm-

Total: I have a sensitive bladder, we need to stop at the next fancy, schmancy bathroom you see.

Max: Anyway, we're going to stop to sleep in some trees and Fang's going to get a mysterious comment on his blog but pay no mind to it even though it's not the first time he's gotten it.

Fang: Exactly.

Max: Then we're going to go to a football game and Fang's going to gawk over a redheaded cheerleader and I'm going to get really jealous.

Fang: Why?

Max: Shut up, emo boy.

Fang: Um...

Max: Anyway, after that some people are going to recognized and we're going to fly out. Moving on to the next part.

Fang: What, no details?

Max: Why do you think Jimmy P wrote the books? For his own pleasure?

Fang: -shrugs-

Voice: Max, the Erasers are all dead.

Max: I realized that, mysterious voice inside my head. That explains why they haven't tried to tear my throat out yet.

Voice: But they're coming for you.

Max: Ooh, they're coming for you. -ominous music plays-

Fang: Max we need a house.

Max: What?

Fang: We need a permanent place to live and to grow up... -insert Fang giving a big long speech here-

Flock: -gape-

Max: No.

Flock: Yes!

Max: And this is where I'm somehow forced to give in and Fang and I go out to try to find a good place to live. Unfortunately, they don't have beautiful cottage resorts where we were.

* * *

-Max and Fang land in a cave-

Fang: Max, you need to relax and forget about everything.

Max: I can't do that.

Fang: Yes you can. -toys with Max's hair-

Max: What are you doing?

Fang: -moves hand from where it was about to grab Max's boob- Nothing...I mean, -cough- -back to a serious voice- Helping you forget. -kisses-

Max: -turns it into an intense makeout session-

Skits: -appears- What?! NO NO! That's not what happens!

Fang: -flips Skits the bird-

Skits: -gapes- -disappears-

* * *

-BACK WITH THE FLOCK-

Flock: -plays a game-

Flyboys: -attack-

Flock: -fight- -kick serious flyboy butt-

Flyboys: -capture the flock anyway-

* * *

-BACK WITH MAX AND FANG-

Max&Fang: -still making out-

Max: -jumps up- -jumps off the cliff-

Fang: -punches wall-

Max: -comes back- -starts making out again-

Skits: -facepalm- CUT! Go to the next scene...

* * *

-MAX AND FANG GO TO DR. MARTINEZ'S-

-THEY GO TO GET MAX'S CHIP CUT OUT-

Dr. M: -gives Max Valium-

Max: -giggles- Fang, Fang, Fang. Fang! I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss much! I love you, Fang! Hey, Fang, I'm wearing a red lace bra, wanna see? Eh, eh, eh?

Fang: Max, not with your mom here! Later.

Dr. M: -finishes the surgery- Wiggle your fingers.

Max: -wiggles fingers sexily-

Dr. M: Any day now...

Max: I'm wigglin' them, old woman! -giggles- I'm wigglin' them sexily!

Dr. M: Oh no...

* * *

-SOME STUFF HAPPENS INCLUDING THEM GETTING CAUGHT BY THE SCHOOL BUT I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT SO LET'S JUST SKIP TO THIS PART-

Ari: -takes Max on a tour- Over there is a brain on a stick.

Max: What's that?

Ari: It's...a brain...on a stick...

Jose Jalapeno: -appears- I am Jose Jalapeno...on a stiick!

Skits: CUT! Jeff, could you get your dummy out of here.

Jeff Dunham: Sorry. -walks off-

Skits: And ACTION!

Ari: Um...anyway, and then there's that baby. It's really smart.

Max: What's that mean?

Ari: It's...a baby...that's really smart...

* * *

-AT THE CABIN AFTER THEY BROKE FREE FROM THE SCHOOL-

Fang: Max, get rid of your brother.

Max: No.

Fang: I'm leaving! We're breaking up!

Max: Fine! I get the girls, you get the sexist pigs. Except Ari.

Ari: -growls sexily-

Max; Don't make me change my mind..

Ari: -takes back sexy growl-

Fang, Gazzy and Iggy: -leave-

* * *

-AND I REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL THE FIGHT WITH OMEGA, I'M GOING TO RE-READ THIS BOOK-

Omega: I am Omega. I am great.

Max: I'm Max. I can kick your $$. -does so-

Omega: AHH! -passes out-

Max: -smirks-

Ari: -dies-

Jeb: -sobs-

Dr. Octagonapus: -appears- DR. OCTAGONAPUS!!! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! -attacks with Pure Energy-

Flock: Oh, f--

* * *

**Yeah...Alright, so, as you can tell, it's been a while since I read the 5th one. -nods- Yeah...**

**Like it? **

**R&R? **

**By the way, I WON!**

**-fistpump-**

**And the current Pens vs. Habs hockey game, Pens are leading 2-1. -double fistpump- **

**Iggy: And this is where we stop and post this. **

**Me: -nods-**

**R&R?!?!?! (Did I already say that?)**


	4. Max Ride: The Final Warning

**Okay, so, I fell asleep for, like, 5 minutes(for those of you that read this and Randomness), and then I woke up and now here I am, updating Books in a Nutshell! **

**Iggy's still asleep...**

**So, I'll just go straight to the update!**

**Hope you like this one...-grins-

* * *

**Max: Hey! Max once again and I-

James Patterson: -takes deep breath- GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING 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GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING GLOBAL WARMING!

Brigid: ...-falls in love with Fang-

Fang: ...creep...

* * *

**-grins- You like?**

**Iggy: -yawns- -rubs eyes- Skits? You're still up?**

**Me: -nods- Yup. Slept for, like, 5-10 minutes. **

**Iggy: Updating?**

**Me: Yup. **

**Alright, anyway, so I have a confession. **

**I remember...practically nothing about The Final Warning. Heh. **

**I WAS going to re-read it before I did this, but then...well, I couldn't get my hands on the book, and then this idea hit me. :) **

**So...R&R? **

**Iggy: Ooh, look, Rugrats is on.**

**Me: All Grown Up or regular? -looks up- Oh, All Grown Up. Meh. I'd still rather the regular...But I can deal. -watches intently-**

**Iggy: She's a Rugrats fanatic.**

**R&R? **

**Or did she already say that?**

**Meh, just hit that review button. **

**It makes us happy.  
**


End file.
